By Erica Begun-Veenstra
“Mommy, I can’t!” is one of the phrases I dislike hearing most from my child. (This declaration is typically delivered in a whining voice and was once accompanied by an impromptu test of whatever object was frustrating him.) Those two words—”I. Can’t.”—carry a sense of defeat and finality. Like a slammed door, they cut off the path forward. But as educators, parents, and Team Managers, we have a unique opportunity to reshape this moment into one of growth and learning.
Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset
For some, the ultimate goal of learning is mastering a skill or achieving perfection. This belief—that our abilities are fixed and unchangeable—defines a fixed mindset. Learners with a fixed mindset often avoid challenges that might expose their perceived limitations, prioritizing success over growth.
In contrast, a growth mindset embraces the idea that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort. Learning becomes about progress, not perfection. Those with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities to expand their understanding rather than as threats to their self-esteem.
Psychologists studying creativity have linked it closely with a growth mindset. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi[1] found that highly creative individuals thrive on new challenges, not just mastery. Similarly, James Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire[2] emphasized that a defining trait of creative individuals is openness to new experiences. While those with a fixed mindset may stop exploring once they encounter difficulty, those with a growth mindset persist.
Importantly, our mindset is not set in stone. It can shift over time and vary across different learning experiences. Recognizing our mindset in a given situation is the first step toward growth.
The Role of Desirable Difficulty in Learning
Learning is inherently challenging. Even when we are passionate about a subject, acquiring, retaining, and applying new knowledge requires effort. Research suggests that desirable difficulty—a level of challenge that optimizes learning—is key to skill development.
Csikszentmihalyi[1] describes an ideal balance between challenge and skill: too much challenge leads to anxiety (triggering an “I can’t” response), while too little challenge results in boredom. The right level of difficulty keeps learners engaged and motivated.
Dopamine, a neurotransmitter essential to learning, plays a significant role in this balance. While often associated with pleasure, dopamine primarily drives motivation. When learners experience small successes, dopamine reinforces their desire to keep learning. Conversely, frustration arises when an expected success doesn’t occur. This is why growth-oriented learners must find joy in the learning process itself, not just in the final outcome.
How Destination Imagination Fosters a Growth Mindset
As educators, Team Managers, and parents, our role is to help learners find the right level of challenge—pushing them enough to stay engaged but not so much that they become discouraged. This philosophy is central to Destination Imagination (DI).
DI Challenges are intentionally designed with multiple levels of solutions, allowing participants to engage at their own skill level while still pushing their creative boundaries. By focusing on learner agency and team ownership, DI fosters a growth mindset. Instead of fixing a problem for a team or telling them how to solve it, we guide them in developing the necessary skills themselves.
In a world that often equates success with rankings and scores, it’s easy for young learners to develop a fixed mindset. “Who is the best dancer?” “Who won the chess tournament?” “Did our team make it to Global Finals?” When success is defined solely by placement, failure becomes a stopping point rather than a stepping stone.
DI challenges this notion by treating scores not as an endpoint but as feedback. A low score isn’t a failure—it’s data for improvement. A high score isn’t the finish line—it’s an invitation to push further. By emphasizing growth over placement, DI helps participants embrace continuous learning, resilience, and creative problem-solving.
Reframing “I Can’t” to “I’ll Try”
As an alumna, teacher, artist, mother, and lifelong member of the DI community, I’ve learned that when a child says, “I can’t,” what they often mean is, “This is hard, and I’m struggling.” Our instinct as adults is to step in and fix the problem, but the best thing we can do is reframe the moment. Instead of “I can’t,” we should encourage “This is hard, but I’ll try.” And we should celebrate the effort, not just the outcome.
This is the heart of a growth mindset. I want my son to face challenges with determination rather than defeat. I want DI participants to see setbacks as opportunities. I want to nurture a generation of learners who thrive on curiosity, resilience, and a love for learning. Because when they do, they won’t just grow—they’ll change the world.
References
[1] Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. 1996. Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. HarperCollins, NY.
[2] Kaufman, Scott, and Gregoire, Carolyn. 2015. Wired to Create. TarcherPerigee, NY.
[3] Dweck, Carol. 2016. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books, NY.
